• arifansari.in
• April 8, 2024
• 1 Comment

“How are you Arif?”- she started.

“I don’t know what to say but yes I’m good now” – I replied with a dry throat.

I was continuously looking at her. I was observing her movement. She was standing like she was guilty of something. I asked one question that I always wanted to be answered in yes. “Are you happy?”

“Yes, I am. And why wouldn’t I? It’s been a year and a half since we got married.” -She replied with tears in her eyes.

I could feel her pain and the lie that was hidden in her eyes. It was clear that she was not happy at all. But time has traveled so far that I couldn’t do anything. There was a time when I was used to her smile. Today she met me after five years and just because of this meeting, her smile has disappeared. I don’t know about her last five years. There was a deep silence in the room. 

She cracked the silence -” I got pregnant in the first month of my marriage and now my baby is eight months old. But you didn’t do anything like that. Still, you don’t have kids. 

I replied-” yes I don’t have a kid yet. Because it is my wife’s decision. She is the one who is going to bear the baby for nine months in her womb. So it should be her right to decide whether she is ready for the same or not.”

“But you are also having the same right as you are to the husband.”- she objected.

 “Anam, the responsibility of becoming a father is to bear the expenses of the newborn. I could afford it if it was before and I am the one who is going to bear it in the future. And for the mother she has her responsibility and other things that she is not prepared yet.”- I tried to explain the excuse. But she took it differently. 

She added-“how lucky she is. She has a very priceless husband. I don’t know if she cares about you or not. I was also not ready for the child but I wasn’t having the right to decide this. I got married and got pregnant in the same month.” She started crying.

“No Anam. Please don’t cry. I’m not used to this and I don’t know if we’ll meet again. There was a time when I was living just to see your smiles. I can’t bear this.” I tried to stop her.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m getting what I did. It’s the punishment of my mistake that I deliberately ignored your love. That time I felt that you were the true lover. But still, I was helpless because of the situation.” – she said while wiping her tears. 

“But the time has passed and we are facing our situations. “- I tried to change the topic.

She replied-” yes, we are. But I would like to meet your wife. Would you arrange a meeting for us?”

I said-“yes. She once told me that she would like to meet you.”

“Means, have you told her about me?” – she asked in surprise.

“I couldn’t resist myself to talk about you. Actually, at that time you were settled in my breath. I told my wife everything about me, how desperate I was for you. How long did I wait for you? But we couldn’t meet. And after that, I got used to lying every day that I had forgotten you. “- I spoke in a hoarse voice. 

“My luck is bad”- she added.

“But I was the one who suffered most for your bad luck and mine too,” I said. 

There was a gap of four feet within us. She was staring at my feet and I kept my eyes on her face. I wasn’t staring at her, I was just waiting to see if she would smile again after seeing me. But maybe she didn’t want to hurt me again now.

There was a deep silence at that instant. Within that silence, there was a stir in our hearts. Our love was full in that movement. But that movement was submerged in that silence with time.